Hello! Welcome to a new segment of my blog called the Thoughtful Week. In my effort to stay consistent in writing and in expressing myself (as part of my ongoing self-therapy in getting over my perfectionism and people-pleasing), these blog entries will be a collection of snippets of thoughts that I had during that week, with either zero to minimal explanation. Basically, these were ideas that were too short to develop into an essay or too long to post in Mastodon. Here's this week's entry:
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On minimizing my phone use
Every other aversive feeling or discomfort I feel, I realized I tend to reach out for my phone to scroll as it it was a way of soothing my nerves.
I noticed something in my thought pattern after a month of not scrolling through reels. Short form content disrupts your thinking. Let me explain: I could be thinking about my thoughts about this current reel I'm watching, when suddenly it would repeat (because it's just a few seconds). Annoyed at this, I'd scroll up with a new content instead. Now the thought I was deconstructing in my head was gone. The cycle would continue. It was worse that a sudden noise when it comes to interrupting your thoughts.
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On the current publishing landscape
It seems like the publishers and agents are looking to improve their bottom line, huh? It's getting rare to see someone doing it for art's sake anymore. It's all about what's trending in booktok. The indie community's looking more welcoming by the minute.
It seems like people are getting book deals because of the size of their audience, not because of the quality of their work. This idea is making me sad.
While it's true that you don't have to go through gatekeepers anymore, your reach will be lacking even if you still have time to market your book. Either way it sucks.
I never figured out why I never had a fanfiction phase, both as a reader and a writer. I guess it had something to do with me being a rebel and a hipster (the first on every cool thing part, not the look). Or maybe it's a pride thing, that I can do better than this one author (in my younger years). I think it was also because I don't want to contaminate my knowledge of a canon with a fanfiction especially if it was a media I liked.
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On writing
I know my writing is crap. But, life goes on. It won't stop me from trying though.
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Anything that's selling you something is telling you you're unhappy. And we accepted it because we have no way of knowing how to be happy or if and when we are. It seems like they don't want us to know either.
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If you don't establish the way of thinking (especially yours), other people from a more powerful and influential position will do it for you.
Thoughtful Week 2
4/28/2025