I’ve observed that whenever my anxiety would creep in, usually when I’m scrolling through my phone or playing whatever video in the background, I find it helpful to just stand up and do something else. I’d wash whatever’s on the sink, clean up my pantry, sweep the floor, or even dust off my electric fan. And as I continuously do this, I learned two things: I cannot go on consuming content or doomscrolling for hours on end because I feel like shit, and doing something productive with my hands eases my anxiety. It was only then that I could focus on writing or doing art.

It was rare to find something on social media worth thinking about. I saw this post where it was explained that anxiety is an effect of the future feeling threatening, where you’re afraid that something you know you can’t handle is going to happen. It’s “not learning” how to deal with a challenge the first time around.

Looking back at the things that caused me anxiety, like hearing the Bluetooth voice connection or the beep of my neighbor’s speakers, was borne out of being paralyzed, but doing nothing but being angry at their noise because they’re going to play loud music with extreme bass again for hours on end. Or even the voices of my neighbors whenever they’d shout or talk really loud under our window, I could feel my flight or fight response triggered. Because of all their noise, in my head, I would result in me not be able to think and do any of my creative work because of my leaky sensory gating.

It had occurred to me to leave the house and work at a cafe. But I couldn’t, because my partner would shame me. He would jokingly call me weak shit for not being able to tolerate their noise when he could and still work regardless. It wasn’t until his calls were interrupted due to their loud music that he would say outloud that they’re noisy, letting me know that it’s my cue to call the authorities on them. He couldn’t be bothered doing it himself because he’s “busy with work”.

Thus, the cycle of reinforcing my anxiety began.

Upon realizing the cycle I was in, I decided to do something about it. For now, I’m coping by playing my own music, closing both the doors and windows of our small studio apartment, no matter how hot the inside is, or using my noise cancelling headphones while I listen to something else. At least, if I won’t be able to think because of someone else’s noise, I could at least listen to my own noise, where I can zone out. That’s why I have my earplugs and my noise-cancelling headphones within arm's reach. I’ve ordered an in-ear monitor and a music player for a better music experience too.

In the near future, I’m planning to leave the house instead and just walk around the town. Maybe even work in a cheap cafe.

This is where I believe the solution to anxiety, the fear of not being able to handle accidents in the future, is action. Whenever a trigger presents itself, do something about it right away. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to how I deal with any assault on me or my senses. Just as they don’t owe me an explanation for why they chose to be a nuisance, I don’t need to care about their opinion about how “weak” I am for not tolerating their assaults.

The key is in the consistency of doing something to address it. This proves your existing anxiety that it’s wrong and that you can perfectly handle any future accidents. I can build confidence in myself that I can do it anytime that I needed to because I’ve done it many times before.

I’ve been reading the book Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan. He mentioned how our ancestors were explorers, discoverers, and always on the move to find a suitable place to live. It explains how we came to populate the Earth, and even extend our voyages beyond the skies.

That is why we don’t feel okay whenever we’re stationary. We don’t feel good when we’re just trying to stimulate our brains using the barest movement. It’s like taking all this stuff in, but with no way to put it out.

I believe anxiety is an energy you can expunge through action. Get moving. Whether through creation or expression, or simply going out, always be in action. We are a species of explorers and discoverers. We’re not meant to be consumers passively scrolling on a black box. We’re meant to be doing something with the stuff that matters to us. And who knows, there might be a surprise when we do so. I find that it always is, even if it’s just meeting a new cat friend who loves pets, or just an undiscovered cafe in my city.

The relationship between anxiety and action.

8/18/2025