It's what the title said. My laptop died, my daily workhorse, my everything - died. It just won't turn on one day when I'm just about to start working. I knew that it was the graphics card. I knew that this day will come, long before I quit my full time job. I never thought about it really after that. Now, I'm working on this Samsung tablet that I got a few years back. It's cluncky in here, but I'm making the most out of it. I realized that even if all I had were stone age tools, that's not going to stop me from being creative, from creating. People had been creating with far less, and they just work on to build on that. But that made me sell all of my MTG cards. I kept some few of them around, the ones I really like. We did try to have the laptop serviced, but I knew back then that it was hopeless. The laptop was 5 years old. That's already a lot asking for that laptop. It had edited my many videos, my games, and some more. It was time to retire that. It was pretty convenient too, since it was before the holidays that my laptop decided to stop working. I got into a lot of thinking on every spare time I had that was not left to dealing with family shenigans, holiday stuff, and petting cats. I will probably talk more about some of the stuff that I had thought about during those days, but for now, I'm writing this because I don't want to put off another day of not updating this website. I am, after all, paying for the domain and the hosting.

1) I think I'm finally over with my writer's block or whatever that period after the failure of my second novel in trying to get it trad pub. I had this idea that maybe just writing it out would solve the problem that started because of writing. I once read that writers write stuff to make sense of stuff, to find answers to problems they were stubling with. I did that with a short story (that I'm currently editing). It's my 32nd birthday gift to myself, as a reminder of what to do whenever I feel lost.

2) I'm going to indie pub from now on. The trad publishing world is a mess, and I don't want to pin all my hopes to that. I've found a group of writers who were making a decent living through hard work in the indie space. I'm going to follow their path. Fuck marketing, I still hate it.

3) I'm revisitng my art skills. I need to do my own book covers since I already have the basic skills

4) I'm adding fashion designing in my roster of interests. I haven't drawn a new design since high school. I haven't sewn a complete project since 2017. I need to revisit my skills on dress making and fashion design.

5) Social media is shit. I'm going to invest my time in blogging and personal website inside. Substack is out, it's crazy out there. I'm also looking to self host my website in a Orange Pi computer and just pay for the domain name. Hostinger's getting pretty expensive with each year.

6) I need to stop filtering myself. I remember back them when I was in college I would often post in LiveJournal and just write the hell out of anything there. The child version of me would be totally envious of the domain owning me now. I have to continually make her proud. Maybe that also means so photos here too?

7) I need to start caring for myself. If I'm getting over stimulated with noise, I'm going to close that window and use my headphones to listen to music. If I'm getting nonsense comments about how sensitive I am, I'm going to brush it off. I'm no longer going to look for someone else's validation that my actions are valid, that they're objectively good, or for my betterment. I'm going to do it because I choose to do it. I don't care what anybody else would say. I'm not going to look for someone who's like me anymore, who's going to like what I like, because I like me and that's all that's important.

8) I'm saving up for a mini pc to resolve all this problem.

Ciao

My laptop died. I stopped making things.

1/24/2026