I just want to put my thoughts down on paper before I think about it. My mind is too jittery to write about this, like a long hand, so I'm typing this despite the topic I'm going to talk about. I can't also write this on a typewriter because it's too loud? I think typing in a typewriter would reach around 40bd? I know it's well within the limit of noise pollution here in the metro but I'm also scared of ruining my typewriter because I fear that we used the wrong one? I also don't want to type at it manually because it's too noisy for me lol. It was distracting me from writing lol. But you know if there's someone else being noisy with me then I probably won't feel that bad lol.

What I want to talk about is I suddenly have this feeling that I need to have proof that I'm the one doing the things I'm creating. Like I should be doing stuff in analog. Or at least document when I did it. It doesn't have to be published online, despite the work being published online. I just need to store it, so that I have proof.

Maybe this is just me coming to terms with my mortality, but it also was this looming fear that everything can be pointed to AI. Oh an AI did that, or an AI made you do this, and it was scary for me. Losing her own agency is probably the scariest thing for a rebellious woman. So maybe that's that. And maybe it's the possessiveness of my work in the world of widespread AI use.

I also feel like one day in the future, AI will earn a bad rep. Our integrity as creators will be called into question. Did you really do this on your own without any influence of AI? I feel like going no AI at all is punk, and I've always been punk. I've always been a counterculture. And I don't know, maybe it's my dad's influence on me. Dad has always been a rock and in a way rebellious. He's a craftsman too. Maybe I am my dad. We've always lived our lives as rebels.

And probably the only thing that's rebellious to do is to not make things using AI. I mean who am I kidding, I use ChatGPT for my product description because honestly, there are a lot of product listings out there that they already probably scraped. As long as it's not art - anything scraped from capitalists is good.

So I should just do what I need to do and what I want to do, the stuff that I thought about, and do it with my own hands and thoughts. That's the most rebellious thing to do.

Document everything

3/20/2025